School woes

I am just trying to make it through until Christmas. Some days are better than others, though. Yesterday I thought things would be different from before break. In some ways they were; in many ways they weren't.

Some days I'm not sure I can do this job. Some days I think it's the other stuff that's going on in my life that is dragging me down. Most days I just do okay. It goes up and it goes down. At least I had some time today to get caught up and get my desk straightened.

I've had it with arguing with kids. I don't think they see that it's not productive to argue with an adult when the adults are the ones in control--it just makes the situation worse. Grrr.

We have our (collective) eye on a car. '01 Honda Accord EX, hunter green, leather seats. The dealer is putting a new transmission in it and new tires on it right now. When it's done, we get first crack at it. Hopefully we can talk them down to a lower price.

I'm hungry

which is a very good thing. For the past few weeks, my appetite has been awful. I've been nauseous, and nothing sounds appealing. But today I'm hungry again and I take it as a good sign. Must mean I know the holidays are coming, or something.

My trimester grades are in and locked. Thank goodness!! Only 4 periods of science to teach and then I'm outta here, baby. Luckily we are just going over a test and setting up science logs for the new trimester during class. Mmmm...coloring science log covers. Kids love that.

$3500

is more than we thought we were going to get for the car! But there it is. Yes, it has been totaled. We are working things out without a car for the moment, and we are taking the train out to CO for Thanksgiving week. A lady from Amtrak called us tonight and we could get a sleeper for only $75 extra, so we took it--it includes dinner and breakfast in the dining car, semi-private bathroom, bunks, etc. We had to get a sleeper on the way back because there were no coach seats--weekend after Thanksgiving, not surprising. I think this trip should be SO wonderful and relaxing!

I will be so glad to have a week off to rest and recover. My 5th period kids have been awful lately. I'm laying down the smack after the break...15 min. detention for EVERYTHING. I don't care that I'll be giving lots. These kids are driving me nuts. Grades are due Friday and I'm not doing well with conforming myself to others' schedules, but I have to in order to get a ride home every day.

We are looking at cars in the $15k range--we want something that is really safe and will last us a while. We are leaning toward an '01 or '02 Accord...EX model has standard ABS and 4-wheel disc brakes, which we're told are night and day from 2-wheel disc (the other 2 are generally drum). We test-drove a car with 4-wheel discs and the difference was remarkable. Hopefully the insurance won't go up too much because of the wreck. Luckily, we are turning 25 and getting married next year, both of which will lower our payments significantly.

Jeff was here last weekend--he took the train out and visited. It was really good for me to see him. I've been worried about his health and I think seeing him helped.

Quite a ramble, I know, but things have been crazy nuts lately and I'm trying to stay on top of school stuff. This break is going to be so wonderful.

I'm okay

But the car is not.

Getting on the freeway this morning, I allowed the car to drift so that the driver's front wheel was on the gravel shoulder. Trying to correct and get back on the road, I lost control and drove the car down a hill. I was shaken up but walked away without a scratch. The car has a huge dent on the passenger rear side and the rear bumper was torn off. The passenger mirror is broken as well as the passenger front blinker.

My cell phone minutes are almost gone, but I called Derek, the insurance company, and a friend to get a ride to school.

This is not how I wanted to start my week.

Memories

While waiting for Derek to pick me up from school, I was messing around online and found the Lawrence website in my addresses. I went to the Alumni section to read the Class Notes, finding myself curious about what my classmates are doing. So many of them are married, have jobs, and are doing the things they talked about doing when we were young and carefree (i.e., free of obligations). I miss those days. I miss those people.

Often I think that being an adult is highly overrated. I think, "I wanted to grow up for THIS?" If I had known what I was getting myself into, maybe I would have been a little less eager to grow up and a little more eager to enjoy what I was doing.

But on the other hand, it does feel pretty good to be the one making the decisions and not the one for whom the decisions are made.

On the other other hand, sometimes it's a whole lot easier when someone else makes those decisions for you.

Bleh. This is too philosophical. Think I'll go home and have a glass of wine with dinner. Mmm. Alcohol. Now I remember why I like being an adult.